Thanksgiving Thanks

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year. There just isn’t much not to like about Thanksgiving. And there is so much around to remind a person of how good they’ve got it.

Hence, the month of November brings with it a gravy wave of people expressing thankfulness. Some people make a daily public expression. I know one guy who makes a daily hate list. Some folks wait for the turkey’s last gobble before airing their laundry list of things to be thankful about.

I’m so thankful for my family and friends, the food on the table, this free country we live in, and etcetera.

Whence originates the conundrum serving as muse to this shenanigan of a post – thankful to whom? Thankful to what? Thankful to a god that likely doesn’t exist?

Uh, I don’t think so.

It is against my better nature to deny thanks where thanks is due. So instead of regaling my readers and friends with a diatribe of ethereal gratefulness, I’ve chosen a more direct approach.

I’m thankful to my wonderful parents for working so hard to provide for my sisters and me.

I’m thankful to my little sister for remembering all of the ways that I tortured her and my other sister when we were little. (Those are some funny stories.)

I’m thankful to my littlest sister for always skyping or calling me long distance.

I am thankful to Appa for scratching my back and being my best friend.

I’m thankful to whomever invented beer. (VERY thankful!)

I’m thankful to the engineers, scientists and doctors who’ve made it their life’s work to heal disease and improve the quality of life on this planet.

I’m thankful to my cats for showing me what a good bed I am, rubbing that cold, wet nose on my hand, shedding crap loads of soft fur all over my black pants, catching vermin and being so damn entertaining.

And I’m thankful to Shweeb for consistently picking me up when I am feeling beat down.

To whom are you thankful?

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An Atheist and a Heretic Were Staring at a Christmas Tree

Every year I go through the same set of boring, old thoughts, “Should I try to talk my husband into putting up a tree this year? Why do I celebrate Xmas? I don’t believe the Christmas story. People get all weird about it too, when you say “Happy Holidays.” [insert eye roll] Why even bother? Though, it is fun to exchange gifts. And I like ham. Mmmm, ham.”

Besides the fundamental absurdity of Christmas, the holidays are a special time for most people. For me, getting together with family is an irresistible draw. I love my family (even the in-laws). Babies. Martinis. Puppies. Beer. Kittens. Wine. Children (even the bratty ones). More beer. Though I prefer Thanksgiving because of it’s general religiouslessness and edible focal point, my Xmas holiday is generally accompanied by copious paid time off and expiring vacation days  – the better to stare at my freaky family with.

That being said, holidays are for relaxing. I never go to church services on Christmas, or any other holiday. (The last time I was at a church service, someone had died. It was unavoidable.) Church on the holidays is antithetical to the holiday philosophy. I do not appreciate being annoyed. Therefore, I avoid things that annoy me. But Christmas annoys me. So why do I bother?

There are innate pros and cons to celebrating Xmas. Pro: presents! Con: people wishing you “Merry Christmas” Pro: ham. Con: religious songs. Pro: Santa. Con: fairy tales posed as reality. (insert irony here) Pro: FAMILY. Con: tremendous amounts of dirty dishes.

And if you don’t celebrate Xmas? Pro: not being annoyed. Con: constantly being annoyed with questions about why you won’t celebrate Christmas. So, you see, there is a net gain to embracing the holiday spirit! Mmmm, ham.

The only remaining question is, “To wreath, or not to wreath?”