Passive Aggressive Bigotry

Now that the United States Supreme Court has ruled that barring same-sex couples from marrying the person they loved amounted to unequal treatment under the law, my social networks have exploded in a wash of rainbow colors speckled with dingy, gray flecks of hate. Even before the ruling, I had to endure daily flashes of undesired religious admonition. But now…

Hole—EEE—crap.

The parade of exhortation has become so repulsive and weighty, I am half a mind to hide certain friends for the foreseeable future to protect my sensitive eyes from the scrolling diatribe of Christian guilt.

So, imagine my (non)surprise when, the a day after Obergefell v. Hodges, one woman I know posted a meme showing a man and woman outlined in bathroom sign fashion with hands interlocked that said “straight pride.” Wow.

Of course, people – including me – called her out on it. Though she didn’t see fit to retain the comments that countered her view, she claimed she only posted the picture to show she was “proud to be straight,” and that she couldn’t see why anyone would be offended by her expressing her “straight pride.” The whole thing smacked of anti-gay sentiment.

Coming the day after the Supreme Court overturned state-sanctioned discrimination, her claim that she – a “Catholic, conservative” woman – only felt the need to boast to the world her pride at being a straight person in order to show she is “pro-me” was highly disingenuous and utterly and completely insensitive.

As a straight, white, Christian woman, she has never been made to feel inferior because of her race or her sexual orientation. She hasn’t had to fight for her rights for anything. She has never had to hide who she really is.

Her posting this sign is akin to posting a “white pride” sign the day after Loving v. Virginia. It was not meant to be a benign personal expression. And I found it extremely hard to believe that she didn’t think it would be taken negatively because I don’t think she is stupid. She posted it in an act of counter-protest to the many expressions supporting marriage equality, or in her words, the people “shoving gay acceptance” down her throat.

At best, it is a mockery of a day that was about freedom for an oppressed minority. At worst, she is just another bigoted liar.

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Bullying – Grownup Style

Something I witnessed not long ago has had me rather upset. I was at an after hours party at a friend’s house and had brought another friend, James, along. James and I were standing around talking to another person (as people are wont to do at parties) when this other person reached over and backhanded James on the cheek in a very offensive way. It offended me so much so that I instantly began to chide this other person on the inappropriate nature of his action, whether it be toward my friend James or any other person.

This scene has literally niggled at my mind since then, leaving me more and more disappointed each time I think of it. This larger man reached over and smacked James – not overly hard; but not caressingly – in such a way as to express dominance over and belittle him. This wasn’t a taunt committed across a playing field in sport, which would have been a foul in almost any game. It wasn’t a joke. And it certainly wasn’t funny. And I am still reeling over the sudden realization that a guy I thought of as an amicable acquaintance – if not a friend – is really just a big bully.

Let me tell you a little bit about this person. His civic resumé reads like a model citizen. He volunteers with the local VFD and for a branch of the local community chest. He is involved with some church or other. His family owns a local business. He works full-time. He is also gay, which might lead one to assume he has an understanding of the damage bullying can cause. But alas, no dice.

This has been a huge lesson for me. Bullies come in all colors, shapes, sizes, ages, incomes and sexual orientations.

Politically Correct Sex Talk

I published an essay recently where I argued that sex should not have to be eliminated from our daily interactions since sex is such a large and valuable part of the human identity. I got some comments I did not expect. I expected people not to “get” it. I mean, I’m a wacky scientist. But I didn’t expect that, because I relayed my own experience and opinion on sexuality (and not anyone else’s), readers would accuse me of “denying the idea that people have diverse forms of sexuality”, “refusing to accept any identities other than straight” and “erasing the experiences of an awful lot of people.”

Since when does one have to be an expert in representing every sexual identity in existence to present a valid position about human sexuality? I am straight. I am a woman who likes men. I don’t like women. I have sex! And, I won’t apologize for any of it. I have friends who reside on all shades of the sexual spectrum. I love and respect them dearly. But just because I know and respect someone who is gay or lesbian or bi, doesn’t mean I can speak to their human sexual experience. To do so would be highly presumptuous and wildly fake.

I am of the opinion that anyone who purports to speak representatively of all sexual identities is swimming in their own arrogance.

F you Pat Robertson, F you

Pat Robertson is a lying son of a bitch. Every gay, feminist or non-christian person on the planet should sue him for defamation. Pat Robertson is a bigot who has made it his personal mission to spread lies about homosexual, bisexual, and transgender people. His message is that homosexuality is an “abomination.” And his wish is elimination (shall I say “extermination?) of LGBT people from the American landscape.

Oh, and he thinks people who disagree with him about it should just “shut their mouths.” (Note his emphasis on the word “white” in the following video clip.)

“I defy these homosexuals to bring forth a baby from that part of the anatomy which they concentrate on, when that happens I will change everything I’m saying; until that happens, I wish those demonstrators would shut their mouth.”

Well Marion, do you know what I have to say about that? Get bent!

Christian conservatives don’t own free speech. Christian conservatives don’t own the Constitution of The United States of America! And Pat Robertson (who probably looks half dead under the two pounds of stage makeup cosmeticians have to put on him every day and who cannot even remember what year it is) has no right to tell me or you how to think, what to feel, or what to do.

It really does not matter to me what the almost 2,000-year-old irrelevant, ridiculous tome Pat Robertson worships so much says about anything at all. It does not matter to me whether LGBT people can have children (they can by the way). I do not care if Pat Robertson is considered a voice of authority in his church. I am not inclined to defer to his implausible wisdom. What matters to me is that theocrats like Pat Robertson never gain the authority to tell me how to live.

Pat Robertson and his supporters laud the First Amendment and free speech when defending religious speech they condone. But when free thinkers (in this case, “homosexual activists,” to use his words) speak out against bigoted views and discrimination, suddenly free speech becomes a misnomer. Deign to boycott a company that donates its profits to anti-gay hate organizations, and suddenly free speech is transformed by Pat Robertson and the religious right into religious persecution.

Sometimes, little people say little things that other little people just soak right up. Pat Robertson is a small man with a small mind that relates only small thoughts. I’m thinking big. And I’ll say any damn thing I want.

Yes, Chick-fil-A Supports Hate Groups

There is a monumental difference between disapproving of same-sex marriage and actively working to assure homosexual and transgender people can make no socio-economic contribution to civil society. The owners and CEO of Chick-fil-A are starting to learn this lesson. After the company’s CEO Dan Cathy made public statement cementing Chick-fil-A’s public stance against gay marriage, the Jim Henson Co. announced they would sever all ties with the restaurant chain and donated royalty money received to GLAAD.

CEO Cathy’s remarks have caused public outrage across the internet. But the CEO’s words are not the root of the offense that Chick-fil-A commits. What really offends people is the message Chick-fil-A supports with their donations to anti-gay organizations. Chick-fil-A’s charitable arm WinShape Foundation donated nearly $2 million to anti-gay organizations in 2010. “So, who are these organizations,” you may ask. Let me tell you about the worst offenders.

One group that received Chick-fil-A money is the Family Research Council (FRC). The FRC is officially certified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center for their vitriolic (and highly inaccurate) statements against homosexuals. Yes, Chick-fil-A donates money a hate group. The FRC routinely spreads lies about gay and lesbian people as it seeks to outlaw same-sex marriage, and overturn hate crimes laws, eliminate anti-bullying programs and reinstate the military’s discriminatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. An FRC pamphlet released in 1999 made the startling claim that, “One of the primary goals of the homosexual rights movement is to abolish all age of consent laws and to eventually recognize pedophiles as the ‘prophets’ of a new sexual order.” FRC’s president Tony Perkins also makes the ridiculous claim that pedophilia is a homosexual problem.

Chick-fil-A also donated money to Focus on the Family (FOF), which used to partner with the FRC. According to Right Wing Watch, FOF is anti-choice, anti-gay, and against sex education curricula that are not strictly abstinence-only. The founder of FOF, Dr. James Dobson, regularly makes disparaging remarks about gays and lesbians, and purports that homosexuality is a mental disorder.

Exodus International – another chicken-funded org – advocates the message that there is something wrong with LGBTQ people; and up  until a month ago espoused the theory that homosexuality was an illness that could be cured with prayer and “reparative” ex-gay therapy.

Other funding recipients included the Marriage and Family Foundation Inc, the Fellowship Of Christian Athletes, and the Georgia Family Council (an FRC affiliate). This is where Chick-fil-A puts your money.

Chick-fil-A donates money to organizations that actively promote hatred and intolerance of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people, organizations that promote criminalization of LGBTQ life, organizations that assert LGBTQ couples aren’t fit to raise children, and organizations that condone and actively spread the ideas that LGBTQ people are child molesters, are sexual deviants, that there is something fundamentally wrong with LGBTQ people’s brains or that being gay is a disease that can be cured, and that allowing LGBTQ people to live freely will destroy society. That is a message that I and many others just cannot support.