Like most people, I haven’t truly known myself since the beginning of my memory. But it’s possible I suffer from some kind of terminal skepticism (because we’re all terminal if you think about it). I don’t believe many things I’m told, not without seeing the proof. But rather than suffering, I like to call it questioning. I’m free to inquire of this life without any fetters, without any limitations, without any fear.
I was raised in a religious house. I remember going to Sunday school at a southern baptist-type church. Then my family switched to another church – a mega-church – where the evangelists smiled pretty for the TV cameras while they compelled even their most impoverished congregants to hand over ten percent their welfare checks to do “God’s work” and admonish the evils of rock and roll while quoting rock bands in their sermons.
But I started on a path of truth quite early. It started with my realization of the hypocrisy of things, contradictions in the fundamental message of religion – starting with the books they so desperately cling to. When I got my first job, I used it as an excuse never to have to go to church again. I will be forever grateful to my mother for not making me go against my will (except a couple times).
I dabbled in other belief systems for a time after that. But I never really believed in them. I always had doubt. And when doubt turned into disgust – I got closer to the truth. When disgust turned into conviction – I found myself.
I am an atheist. I don’t believe in god. I don’t believe in the Christian god, the Islamic god, or the Buddhist god, or any other god. I’m not agnostic. I don’t “turn back to prayer” as a way to cope, as one person asked me. I don’t believe in souls. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I don’t believe people “go” somewhere when they die.
We just die. That’s it. The body stops working, electronic signals cease, and that’s it. And it’s sad. (I sure don’t want to do it!)
But with doubt comes an insatiable questioning of what really makes the universe work. A questioning attitude is a beautiful thing. It opens doors to endless knowledge. And knowledge – in its own circuitous way – leads to happiness.
Now please excuse me while I reason my way to euphoria.
Nuclear Grrl - Atomic Feminist 
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You need some help, you are so far off the mark. Another hate creator no doubt. Trying to cause trouble with your erroneous words. You should use that degree and get yourself a job instead of publishing this junk.
You sound so astute and inspiring. I have seen the error of my ways. I heretofore renounce my evil relationship with “evil.” I will get a [new?] “job.” I will give all of my “extra” money to the intolerant Catholic church. I will pass my own “god’s” judgment on others. And I swear to whomever my new god is to promote the brainwashing and bullying of innocent children from here to eternity. RAmen!
It seems you have a fan. I would be jealous, but then I might get my own fan, and *then* where would I be?
What a waste of human life. Truly the scum of the universe.
Oh how nice of you! Thank you for the complement. And my regards to your mother (or father) for her dedication to and ultimate success with teaching you manners.
I fear that mocking the clueless does not change them; they have not the wits to understand how ridiculous they are.
“But with doubt comes an insatiable questioning…” Yes, yes, and yes! 🙂
You’re the greatest! I love your blog, I love your atheism, I love your support for nuclear energy.
Poor Lesley is lacking in love. We should send some their way