Unlimited Female Attention

This picture is what you find when you look at the back of a bottle of Axe Bodywash. Seriously, next time you are in the drugstore (or the shower if you live at my house), take a look at the back of a bottle. It’s on every one, as if therein lies the secret ingredient to instant sex appeal

I think men must be crazy. Anyone who would want unlimited attention from anyone else must have a few screws loose. I mean, when do you take a shower? Floss your teeth? Number two?

If you are a man reading this, brace yourself. Choosing the perfect brand of body wash will not bring you closer to the unlimited female attention you so seek. But, fear not! I offer you now some rules for success to steamroll the speed bumps from your path.

1. Don’t stink.

Sure, not smelling bad is a great start. And smelling good is an even better start. But really, no matter what scientists say, there is more to the art of lady catching than pleasing olfactory characteristics.

2. Lose the pick-up lines.

‘Nough said.

3. Be real.

Don’t be one of those fake dudes who tries super hard to impress women. Personality is only attractive if it is authentic. Just be cool. And don’t be what you think cool is. Be your cool self. But alas, if you are going to fake it, just don’t be a jerk.

4. Respect.

For Pete’s sake, don’t condescend to any woman you meet. Women are actually pretty smart. We don’t always want to talk about celebrities and weight loss. We also like to talk about politics and movies and SPORTS!

5. Be confident and just go for it.

Because smelling good can’t make a scared guy any cuter.


Author: NuclearGrrl

Nuclear engineer, afro queen, black mamba, feminist, clinic escort, beer aficionado and all around spectacular human being.